So, you have seen David Letterman’s top ten countdowns, right? Well, I think I missed it, but I am rpetty sure this was on one of his shows. Because I did not catch the show I am calling it the top ten excused for missing your online classes.
10. But teacher, my dog ate my hard drive.
9. I am not sure what happened, but somewhere between my last planting in Farmville and the WOW raid I forgot that school was my reality.
8. So, Jenny texted me, then I got an IM from my dad who needed me to google an address for him and then my computer needed to shut down after my latest iTunes install, while it was doing that I went to get something to eat and by the time I came back I had forgotten what I was doing and watched Artificial Intelligence on Netflix instead.
7. I went to the doctor so he could clear out old programs from my nose and run a malware checker in my …well, it’s kinda personal. Let’s just say I was really sick!
6. I got so excited that I learned a new word that I had to test it out. I was defragmenting my CD & DVD collection.
5. So, you said that I had two days to complete the assignment. I found out that my brother had taken a screen capture of my desktop that had my calendar on it and set it as my wallpaper so I thought that I had plenty of time. I’m still not sure how he did all that.
4. Would you believe me if I told you SETI was using my computer to track incoming radio waves from Martians and they ACTUALLY FOUND SOMETHING! So, there was a group of men in black at my door this morning and they took me to an unmarked building where I was interrogated for like 20 hours straight. They used full on Jack Bauer grilling tactics on me. It is amazing that I’m even alive to tell the tale. I’m surprised that they let me go. In fact, I’m surprised I even remember this much of the story, they tried to zap my memory, but I totally escaped. You’re talking to a wanted man is 57 states.
3. I was totally chillin at the skate park and remembered we had class, so I called up my little sister to log in to the class discussion for me so it would look like I was there. She ended up loggin into Barbie Dress Up instead.
2. Ya know how you taught us that we have to think for ourselves? Well, I thought this morning, I don’t want to go to class, even if it is online and I can do it in my underwear, so to be true to what you taught me I slept in.
1. I’m not sure what the big deal is. I signed for online classes because there is not set time I have to go and I can do it whenever I want.
So there ya have it folks, a most likely David Letterman top ten list of the reasons why I missed my online classes.